Kingdom Karaoke!
by SkyLandOcean
Summary: The newest karaoke bar in Hollow Bastion has opened! It has attracted people from everywhere to come and sing their hearts out. Those who HAVE hearts. Every song is a parody of an original hit. The parodies are written by us. Review please!
1. Way Back Into Love

Welcome to the first chapter of Kingdom Karaoke! Do we honestly have to tell you what it's about?

Little girl: Is it about crocodiles who save the day?

Bro: Get out.

This is not based in the past, present or future of Kingdom Hearts or ANY of our fanfics. It's just a little something for you.

* * *

Everyone knew about the new club in Hollow Bastion. People, Heartless and Nobodies could comingle, dancing to eachother's voices, as they sang hit songs. Zexion had queued for hours, and the only thing that accompanied him was his favourite cutting knife. 

He walked into the club, paid his money, and stepped onto the stage. The spotlight fell on him, and he stepped forward, accidentally stubbing his toes inside his shoe.

"OW! EVERYBODY HATES ME!"

"Sing the song, emo boy!"

Zexion scrolled down the list, eventually deciding upon his favourite, "Way Back Into Love".

_Way Back Into Love (Zexion's Remix)_

_I've been living with death inside my head,_

_I've been sleeping with a noose around my neck,_

_I've been lonely for so long,_

_Trapped in the past,_

_I just can't seem to move on!_

_- _

_I've been hiding all my ropes and knives away,_

_Just in case I ever use them again someday,_

_I've been setting aside time,_

_To set up my noose and jump off of my chair!_

_- _

_All I want to do is slit my wrists and bleed to death._

_I can't make it through without a razor blade and noose._

_Ooooow._

_- _

_I've been trying but the blades refuse to cut,_

_I've been searching but i just don't see the signs,_

_I know that it's out there,_

_There's got to be a store open at this time!_

_- _

_I've been looking for someone to shed some blood,_

_Not somebody just to kill me in the night,_

_I could use some direction,_

_And I'm open to your suggestions._

_- _

_All I want to do is slit my wrists and bleed to death._

_I can't make it through without a razor blade and noose._

_And if I open my heart again,_

_I guess I'm hoping I'll bleed to death in the end!_

_Ooooooow, Oooooow, Oooooow._

_- _

_There are moments when I don't know if it's real_

_Or if anybody feels the way I feel_

_I need inspiration_

_Not just another negotiation_

_(Background singers: From a psychiatrist)_

_- _

_All I want to do is slit my wrists and bleed to death._

_I can't make it through without a razor blade and noose._

_And if I open my heart again,_

_I guess I'm hoping I'll bleed to death in the end!_

_- _

_And if you help me to stab again,_

_You know that I'll be dead in bed in the end!_

_Ooooooow. Ooooooow. Oooooooow. Ooooooow. Oooooow Oooooooow. Oooooooow._

_- _

The entire audience looked onward in disgust.

"You don't know music from your arseholes!" he said, throwing the microphone stand at them. As he left the club, he pulled out a bottle of unhappy pills. He stroked them lightly, and said: "Hello, my friends, you take the pain away."

* * *

We hope you enjoyed that disgracefully offensive song! We must tell you that it will not be updated as regularly as our other stuff, but there will be more! 

SkyLandOcean and Bro, who is so UGLY that if he was in the same room as Bert Newton, Bert would be the looker.

Bro: OH MY GOD, THAT IS SO CRUEL! ARRGH!


	2. Don't You Forget About Me

Welcome to the next installment of Kingdom Karaoke! Today's highlight will be "Don't You Forget About Me." Enjoy.

Disclaimer: We do not own the song, or Kingdom Hearts. But, our computer owns our souls, so don't be expecting us to leave anytime soon.

* * *

"It's my time to shine." said Sora, as he stepped onto the stage. 

"Hey everyone! A girl is gonna sing a song!" yelled Leon, pointing at him.

"I'm not a girl!"

"Why do I have pictures of you in a dress?"

"Shut up, ya bastard!" Sora scanned down the list, and chose one of his favourites.

"This is dedicated to my friend, Namine! This is for you, ya blonde bitch!"

_Don't You Forget About Me (Sora's Remix)_

_Hey, hey, hey ,hey_

_Ohhh..._

_- _

_Didn't you draw some pictures?_

_I'll be alone, sleeping you know it baby_

_You take troubles and doubts_

_- _

_Making me forget everything inside and out and_

_I slept, so long in that tube_

_Think of the things you made me lose_

_My shopping list, my spare key_

_even to feed my pet kitten, baby_

_- _

_Don't You make me forget_

_Don't Don't Don't Don't_

_Or I'll kick you over the head_

_- _

_Will you draw me some porn?_

_Kairi found, my other stash_

_Tell her to stay, out of my room_

_Out, out, out!_

_- _

_Will you restore them soon?_

_What's my name? How do you walk?_

_I keep falling, I keep falling_

_Down, down, down, down_

_- _

_Hey, hey, hey, hey_

_Ohhhh..._

_Don't you try to pretend_

_It's my wish that you stop screwing around_

_I will harm you, if you don't stop_

_Hire yourself some security_

_- _

_Don't you make me forget_

_I'll be alone, wanking, you know it baby_

_Going to tear you apart_

_Put them back, before I do a wet fart, baby_

_- _

"Erm, I forget the rest, baby."

"Hehehehe." said Namine, as she deleted she rest of his memories, and made him think he was a butterfly.

"I can fly!" Sora stagedived, but sadly noone wanted to catch him. (All the fangirls were outside)

He fell through the floor and into the basement, where Adam West was playing poker with a bunch of dogs. (Cue Batman theme music)

* * *

Thank you all! We hope you liked it. Not as good as our other stuff, we know, but we morph all the songs ourselves and it does take quite a while to get them how we want.

SkyLandOcean and Bro


	3. My Favourite Things

Chapter three! This time will be "My Favourite Things"!

* * *

Larxene stepped around the hold created by that poor butterfly child Sora, and took her position on the stage. She silently chose a song, not wanting unecessary attention. But, was she going to get it...

_My Favourite Things (Larxene's Remix)_

_-_

_Smashing through windows and strangling children,_

_injuring puppies and impaling kittens,_

_sour, bitter apples with maggots within,_

_these are a few of my favorite things._

_-_

_Abusing police and doing graffiti,_

_Burning down churches and undoing knitting._

_Stealing the wallets of helpless old men._

_these are a few of my favorite things._

_-_

_Girls in black dresses with blood stains all down them,_

_the little devil that sits on my shoulder,_

_I love those three numbers, oh yes 666,_

_these are a few of my favorite things._

_-_

_When the boy smiles, when the girl sings,_

_when I'm feeling sad,_

_I simply remember my favorite things,_

_and then I don't feel so bad._

_-_

_Stealing new cars and doing a ramraid,_

_shooting old grannies and beating up babies,_

_blowing up playgrounds with children on swings,_

_these are a few of my favorite things._

_-_

_Being paid to kill and spreading the herpes,_

_Showing my boobies and spitting in coffee._

_Attacking children who are in remission._

_these are a few of my favorite things._

_-_

_Boys in black tuxes with blood stains all down them,_

_the little devil that sits on my shoulder,_

_I love those three numbers, oh yes 666,_

_these are a few of my favorite things._

_-_

_When the boy smiles, when the girl sings,_

_when I'm feeling sad,_

_I simply remember my favorite things,_

_and then I don't feel so bad._

-

A little boy in a black tuxedo with bloodstains all down him started laughing maniacally and clapping.

"Thank you! I'm here all week!" she said waving.

"You will, but WE won't!" yelled a man, heading for the exit.

"The hunt is SO on!" yelled Larxene, pulling out a gun which could fire chainsaws.

She chased him out of the door.

* * *

We hope you enjoyed this chapter!

SkyLandOcean and Bro.


	4. What I've Done

Hello, SkyLandOcean and Bro here, with another chapter of Kingdom Karaoke! Finally. XD Anyway, today it's Riku! YAY!

A quick reminder that it's not based in the past, present or future of any of our fanfics, except this one. XD

* * *

Riku scrolled down the list, trying to find the song which would help him express his feelings.

"Make 'em cry, Riku!" cheered Sora, from a table at the front of the club.

"I will, my love." he answered.

"What?"

"Nothing! Oh, here it is!"

Riku selected Linkin Park's _What I've Done _from the list.

* * *

_In this farewell_

_There's no blood_

_There's no alibi_

'_Cause I've drawn romance_

_From the face_

_of a brunette boy_

-

_So let Sora withdraw_

_the court order_

_that's against me_

-

_I'll face my love_

_for the first time_

_with a song_

_And also make a dime_

-

_Put to rest_

_What you thought of me_

_While I clean this slate_

_to retain my dignity_

-

_So let Sora withdraw_

_the court order_

_that's against me_

-

_I'll face my fate_

_and take you on a date_

_Erase Kairi_

_And that bitch can take a hike_

-

_For what I want_

_I hit on you_

_And what rejection may come_

_Today this ends_

_I'm falling in love with you!!_

-

_I'll kill Kairi_

_If that is what it takes_

_to be with you_

_And give you this paopu fruit_

-

_What I want_

_I'm getting what I want!_

* * *

"Aw, ROFLMAO!" said Roxas, pointing at Sora.

Sora was white as a sheet, and almost screamed when Riku winked at him.

"You okay, babe?" he asked, and that Sora ran.

"Did... I just get rejected?"

"Yes, because you threatened to kill his girlfriend so that there'd be nothing in the way." said Namine.

"He's just confused!" Riku ran off the stage, and ran after Sora.

Kairi just sat there, a look of :3 on her face.

"Yay, yaoi!" she cried.

* * *

And that concludes another chapter. Etcetera, now get out of our faces, cracker factory! XD

SkyLandOcean and Bro


	5. Jingle Bells

Hello, SkyLandOcean and Bro here with a special Christmas chapter! Merry Christmas to all of you, and a happy new year, may it be filled with joy and other assorted positive emotions. XD

**XXXXXXXXXX**

Vexen stepped up to the stage and took the microphone, nearly tripping over a cuddly-toy snowman sat on the stage. He booted it out of the way and selected his song, to fit with the season, "Jingle Bells".

**XXXXXXXXXX**

Crashing through the snow, on a pair of broken skis

Oh my golly gosh, I think I broke my knees

(ouchthepain)

The snow is turning red, I think I'm nearly dead,

I'll soon be in the hospital

With staples in my head

Oh broken skis broken skis

skiing down the track

if I do not slow down soon I'll surely break my back

Oh broken skis broken skis

skiing down the hill

if I do not stop right now I surely will be killed

A day or two ago

I thought I'd take a ride

These stupid broken skis

That bastard salesman lied

I'm barely on my feet

I'm tired and upset

I think death would be sweet

I'll make an angry threat!

Oh broken skis broken skis

I got back to base

With my kneecaps snapped and my nose back into my face

Oh broken skis broken skis

I stumbled to the phone

I called an ambulance and now they are setting my bones

Oh broken skis broken skis

I sued the salesman

I won the case, got the cash, and stole that asshole's wife

Oh broken skis broken skis

I'm living it up

Ooh look they have a snowboard trip to Mount Wannanup.

**XXXXXXXXXX**

"Yeah… that is a very pleasant way to celebrate the holiday… by destroying a much-loved carol," said Kairi. Riku nodded.

"Very clever," he said sarcastically.

"O rly?" said Sora, downing his third glass of brandy and slumping down into his seat sleepily.

Axel stood up. "I'm gonna go set a church on fire."

Larxene stuck her head in the door. Not as in, she opened the door and looked in, but she smashed her head through the thick wood. "Sorry, I already knocked them all down. But there's a nativity set near Santa's Workshop!"

Axel rammed the door to get out, smashing the entire thing on top of her.

"Argh, you moron! That hurts!" She threw the door off and ran after him, headed to the nativity set.

Axel stood in front of it, grinning psychotically, flames around his hands. People nearby were running in fear.

"Merry Christmas!" yelled Axel and Larxene, as she hoisted up a canister of petrol.

A sharpened candy cane flew through the air and punctured it; the two looked to their right to see that a young woman in a Christmas elf outfit had thrown it, as her arm was still extended.

"Oh no, you don't!" she said, pulling another from her back pocket.

"I thought you'd want us to burn it, elves are to do with the commercial side, right?" said Larxene, dropping the drained canister.

The elf faltered slightly. "Well,,, yeah… but that doesn't mean I'm going to condone destruction of religious symbols!"

"Jeez, what is this, a very special episode?"

"No, very special episodes usually deal with pregnancy and stuff, not two people burning stuff and being stopped by a magical elf," said Axel.

The elf sighed. "If you don't burn the nativity, I'll give you lollies." She held out a giant, unsharpened candy cane to each of them.

They agreed and said goodbye, starting to walk off. Only to run back with a chainsaw and destroy it.

"Oi!"

"You said if we didn't burn it. We're cutting it up. That's different."

**XXXXXXXXXX**

And that's the end of the Christmas special! Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good chicken! It lays eggs, and eggs are good.

Guy: A chicken? That's a crap present.

SkyLandOcean: Your face is crap.

Guy: (runs off crying)

(AN: Also, we don't know if there is a Mount Wannanup. We just put that in so it rhymed. XD)


End file.
